so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
