I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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