Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I know her cup size but not her name....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
