saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
