Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
