I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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