do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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