if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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