I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
