In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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