didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
