Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
