the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
