And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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