Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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