after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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