first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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