Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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