That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My vagina is officially offended.
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