just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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