yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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