guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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