But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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