I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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