Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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