the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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