My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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