I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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