Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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