I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
