Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
