She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
