Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
