I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
