Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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