he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize