Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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