Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
