I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
