is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
