I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
