I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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