I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
