Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Terrible idea I love it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
