White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Everyone says I win the strip club
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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