My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
