you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
