this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
