Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
