I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
