my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
