There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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