Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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