hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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