I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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