perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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