I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
