that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
