btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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