he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
