i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
